My heart aches.
Aches in a way that it’s never ached before.
I can’t find any space
to get away from you.
Tranquil function transcends to
irregular heartbeats beating faster and faster.
The flower that I wish would wither
remained a perennial thorn stabbed through my chest.
I act that all is well.
All is well.
You though,
Can make things well.
I cannot accept,
that I’m lying to myself.
Precious moments and interactions
fill the box of forgotten occurrences.
I want to enjoy the time,
I want to stand alongside you.
It just doesn’t make sense why
my mind and heart are two javelins jousting each other.
The mind is what controls the body.
The heart is what controls the mind.
Maybe that's when I try to be with you, somebody,
I gather an emotion that is like no other kind.
Mistakes in the past ought not to be repeated,
Difficult decisions to save my heart.
An envelope you sent to me to say hello,
Partially open and ripped…
If I’m honest with myself,
Then I’ll know what it's really like.
If I lie once more to myself,
I'll feel that numbness once more.
But for now,
My heart remains aching.
Aching for things to be set right,
For my mind not to jump to conclusions or theories.
Letting go is a part of life,
But one cannot let go before hanging onto something.
Sweet memories sprinkle like sugar atop a cake,
Only to dissolve and fissure through the thicket batter.
So, help me out here:
Honesty, or a lie.
Neither wields good results.
Both are two paths that lead to inevitable aches.
For now,
I’ll take the lie.
And even though it still hurts,
I'll save me from sure sorrow.
Ah.
I’m sorry but,
I can’t let go of these flowers.
They’ll wither on scorched floor instead of with me…
